Party For Two: A Lesson in Quarantining Together
Shania Twain, the undeniable Queen of Country Pop, is also the Queen of Teaching a Lesson Through an Upbeat Bop. Give her the recognition she deserves and accept some advice for once in your life.
When her single Party For Two was released in 2004, it was merely a fun little song about inviting someone over for an intimate night that will be “really, really hot.” Hard to pass up. Now, in the age of isolation, it’s more of a pump up jam to help you convince your partner that staying home together for another month, or seven, is gonna be like a sexy little party. With nobody but you! Should be an easy sell, since you are presumably their favourite person. Right, babe? Babe?!
Sure, quarantine was sort of like a cute 24/7 slumber party at first but now it’s sort of like, okay, Shania wasn’t joking when she said lots of one on one. Nothin’ but one on one might have been a bit more clear, Ms. Twain.
My partner and I have been isolating together for over six weeks now and we are really taking that “It doesn’t matter what you wear” line to heart. I’m so grateful that we’re able to be honest and vulnerable with each other but do I wish he wasn’t wearing only long johns 70% of the time? Sure. Yes. On the flip side, it might be nice for him if I did even a single pass over my hair with a brush. Will I? Absolutely not. My guiding light in this world told me it doesn’t matter.
Some of the lyrics have taken on a different meaning now. “You'll be sexy in your socks/We can polish the floors” was previously a coy line about straight up fucking on the floor. Whereas now it’s a coy line about telling your bf to grab a mop and act like he isn’t a complete dirt squirrel. Sex on the floor can be renegotiated once the cat litter has been swept up.
If you’re isolating alone, take this time to care for yourself. Cook yourself nice dinners. Learn TikTok dances without any judgemental side eye coming from the one person who’s supposed to support you through anything. If you, like me, are having a Party for Two, hold them close. Give thanks for this person who loves you enough to listen and rub your back while you get upset about Shania’s Vegas Residency shows being cancelled.
If you get really bored, I implore you to play a little game of “Would You Rather Be Quarantined with Billy Currington or Mark McGrath?” Agreeable nice guy Billy, or the unfortunately undeniable sensuality of McGrath, is a debate for the ages. We’re going to get through this one way or another. I hope you find a little time to party along the way.